#sinking my teeth into this rn

[morning-star-joy]

I am in awe. What a strong, completely captivating way to start a story. Captivating doesn’t even begin to cover it, I was just immediately drawn in by this from the first paragraph.

There is something so special about the cadence of this prologue, about the feelings it evokes. It’s like this balance of anxiety and reassurance to me. The repetition of certain phrases and words is brilliant. There’s an unsteadiness in it, like I could feel a discomfort in my chest in a really incredible way, a tension that carried throughout the story.

But again, there was reassurance. Almost like, Joel talking himself down? Or even more so reminding himself of what happened, like he’ll forget otherwise. Or like he’s trying to remember exactly how it all went down.

AHHHH I’m so excited to fully dive into this 🥹

June - the prologue

joel miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

He finds her, intent on the same thing he is. Soon she will have a scar that matches his, a secret shared between them.

warnings | 18+ dark themes surrounding suicidal ideation and attempt, canon-typical violence and gore, eventual smut

a/n | I want to try something a bit different with this new series. I can't promise how frequently I will update this, though I will intend the chapters to be read as snapshot moments of the story. Please take care in reading this, I know that it is dark and tender material I am touching.

artwork used: Moonrise by Józef Chełmoński

series playlist

..................................

He’s not going to miss this time. He’s older, and though his hands might be more unsteady, his mind has never been so clear, so intent, so ready. He’s not going to miss this time. 

There’s nothing left. Truth, a fire, a scorched earth between him and the kid. She was going to find out eventually, and deep down he always knew that. What began as protection decayed into deceit, the lies he told her wrapping around his throat, caught in a trap of his own undoing. And his brother, a vision of everything he couldn’t be, of every particular way he managed to fail. There’s nothing left.

Simple and clean. He doesn’t take a horse, hiking out into the foothills outside Jackson, rolling bruises of purple and blue in the moonlight. A pistol, quick and glinting on his hip, the weight a reminder, a chant, a prayer. Soon, soon, soon. He walks until he’s certain the sound won’t be heard from inside the walls. Simple and clean.

The click of a bullet snapping into place. The gun is smooth and cold in his hand, easy, easy, easy. But the sound doesn’t come from his own movements, ears pricking, head turning, a beat of recognition. The click of a bullet snapping into place.

He recognizes her. Another loner, like you. All downturned eyes and quick movements, clipped answers and unsure questions. New to Jackson, to not killing, killing, killing. He recognizes her.

She’s crying. Close and short sobs that don’t shake the mouth of the gun pressed to her temple. Tears that run like quicksilver down her face, swimming so much she probably can’t see him. She’s crying.

The crack of a bullet leaving a gun. That ugly snap and snarl of steel designed to shred. Muscles tense and jolt, an unwilling embrace of bodies toppling into the grass, cool and sweet with the night. The crack of a bullet leaving a gun.

She missed. He’s holding her and blood is smearing onto his shirt. Sobs crack into a yawning yelp, cursing him with her pain, cursing him with her failure. His heart contracts, expands, beyond capacity, beyond belief. She missed.

He carries her back. She screams in his ear until she doesn’t. Leave me, leave me, leave me. Her temple is an angry yawn of a wound, a grotesque graze that gristles and glints in the darkness. He carries her back.

There are people shouting. The gates tear open and a wave of hands and questions passes over him. Her eyes are closed, head slack against his bicep before she’s taken out of his arms. There are people shouting. 

There’s an ache in his back. All night, all morning, slumped in a chair, staring at a closed door, waiting for an answer he’s not sure he wants. Not sure why he wants. Straightening, unfolding when the door opens. Good news, good news, good news. If you hadn’t, if you hadn’t, if you hadn’t. A glimpse, bandages blooming red and pink flowers. There’s an ache in his back. 

She’s not happy. He stays until eyes open, rimmed with resignation, snapping into steel on him. Hoarse, cracked, a voice that demands he listen. You shouldn’t have. Shouldn’t have, shouldn’t have, shouldn't have. She’s not happy.

He can’t remember. Why he was out there in the first place. Like sleepwalking, and waking up to a living ghost. Her eyes wide, wide, wide. He can’t remember.

Something like warmth. Like care, like need. He visits her every day. Her bite dulls and her sneers soften. She lets him swallow her anger. Something like warmth.

No name. A question she refuses to answer, and one he won’t ask to anyone else. Lips set in a thin pout, eyes narrowed when he does. No name. 

June. The month he left with a gun and came back with a woman. He calls her it, and she answers, a quiet turn of her head when he sees her around town. Where a bandage now lays, soon there will be a thread of silver along her temple that matches his. June.

June, June, June

[kenneth-black]

his little tummy makes me go absolutely feral 🤤🥵

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

Thinking abt how Will and Hannibal are like that old myth where you can cure a werewolf by calling it by its Christian name, making it remember that their true self is human. Except, with them, Hannibal saw Will for who he truly was, allowing him to become the monster he was on the inside.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

it occurred to me that i haven't actually said what the Lights Out au is despite posting about it a whopping three times!

essentially: unknown to the puppets, the WH puppet show was canceled. to them (bar Frank & Wally), their last day was just like any other - until the lights abruptly went out. everyone assumed that the day simply got away from them, and bid each other goodnight.

Home is the only one who wakes up. Wally waits, and waits, but the next day doesn't come, and the neighborhood remains asleep. and lonely, desperate, & losing his mind, Wally learns just how dangerous the endless dark can be

[meownotgood]

aki hayakawa's slutty waist appreciation

[the-punforgiven]

God I need burger so bad rn

[transbeeduo]

hey qsmp mutuals do u know if those recap videos are still like. up and like. Has the more recent stuff

[i-am-confused-always]

transformers 1 is COMING OML

[helianskies]

HELIA hetaberia week day 2 is going to give me brainrot for an au THAT I ALREADY HAVE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF BRAINROT FOR.

It's a universe at this point

is it the spy au by chance 👀

[lunerabo]

I need to gag restrain and blindfold Suguru and just use him until he doesn’t have a damn thing left to give me all shaky and overstimulated to hell and back because his comfort came second and he was into that

[audiovisualrecall]

Like I need to go brush my teeth and change for sleep at least, but my anxiety is bad right now

[wrathful-reptile]

problems with being single:

No kisses

No cuddles

No one to hunt down the fae with

No one to ramble to who will not understand but will love me anyway

No kisses.

No one to give romantic fruit baskets to.

[corrie-zodori]

Fuckit I am not making yet another side blog (at least for the time being) we post story n' ocs on main here You just might get memes and media blorbos and commissionwork and cool art from other ppl sometimes alongside it lol

[daryldamnson]

flirting with a guy who has the SLUTTIEST little waist rn…. life is really worth living

[nestavadavat]

Hey tumblirnas daily reminder not to base your entire sense of self around another person because when you lose them you lose yourself too!!! (Vent in tags)

[dandyshucks]

i want to send whoever came up with the concept of mothers day to the briny deep of the goo lagoon because I want to work on my Guz plushie not this stupid chicken hat that my mother will probably think is funny for like a week and then never think about ever again 😭😭😭